I’m really good at only posting when I have something to say, which is another way of saying that I don’t always have something important to say. In that vein, I’ve let a few things build up so I can have a fairly long post whilst working out this storyline for the gargoyle and other things.
The costs of writing a knitting pattern by one’s self, putting together a Kickstarter proposal, and then. theoretically, making the the book is a surprising amount. Initially, I figured I’d only spend a couple hundred dollars on it, because hey, this is the 1900’s and that’s just a good round number. Then I actually thought about it, and I have to find a publisher to put out a book from an unknown, untested author, an editor, buy yarn, get a photographer (side note- wouldn’t it be great if we could just download skills?), models, locations, and actually make the pieces. Then the fringe costs, like the Netflix and redbox to keep me entertained, the xenergy and foods to keep me functional, and the bills paid in the meantimes. All together, that’s significantly more than the 200 old timey dollars. Thankfully, if I get a book funded, I can try to work out yarn support, in which I would either trade yarn for publicity (which is how it’s done) or pay them with later funds from my sales (which is how I thought it was done.) Also, I can work other jobs whilst having dreams and pursuing them.
Speaking of other jobs, here’s another cost. Two actually. First, as a matter of backstory, have we all seen Live Free or Die Hard? Specifically the seen in which Justin Long’s character is talking to John Maclain (The real xmas figure) about why he’s saving the country. It comes down to the fact that John is able to, therefore he must. Now, you may have recently heard of the Prescott 15, the wilderness firefighters who died fighting a fire in Yarnell. Some of those men were younger than me. It kind of struck me, you know? These men died doing something I could be doing, something I could be doing to make the world better. Between that and my grandmother recently dying, I’ve decided to attend firefighting school. So, there’s that.
In regards to my grandmother, I miss her. She died pretty… unhappy about her condition. And really, besides missing her, all I feel is anger. Rage in fact. And I realized that Rage is what I feel when I grieve. I’ve lost religion because I’ve lost people and I’m not ok with it. So, in an attempt to be a grown up with real adult functions, I’m turning some sweaters from my grandmother’s closet into a blanket for my mother. I will work through all my feelings in tight, angry stitches and tedious, methodically unraveling. Later I will post about that journey, with pictures.
Ok guys, I’ll talk to you later. Possibly about my freakish sunflowers.